Tongue Fu!
How to Deflect, Disarm, and Defuse Any Verbal Conflict
By: Sam Horn
Published: March 15, 1997
Format: Paperback: 240 pages
ISBN-10: 0312152272
ISBN-13: 978-0312152277
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
"People don't know what to do or say when someone mistreats them. They often end up RIK (Retaliating in Kind) or SIS (Suffering in Silence). Neither reaction helps", writes conflict resolution expert and President of Action Seminars, Sam Horn, in her very practical and idea packed book Tongue Fu! How to Deflect, Disarm, and Defuse Any Verbal Conflict. The author describes how to defuse, disarm, or deflect someone's verbal or psychological attack in a constructive and problem solving manner.
Sam Horn understands that people often get tongue tied, or resort to verbal retaliation when confronted by verbal conflict or attack. Neither of these heat of the moment responses works toward conflict resolution, or toward helping either person achieve any desirable outcomes. Sam Horn presents an alternative form of self defense that she calls Tongue Fu!®. The purpose of the Tongue Fu!® technique is not to acquire a set of one line zingers, abusive remarks, or put downs of the other person. Indeed, the entire concept is built on exactly the opposite of those lashing out attempts at getting even or one upping other people. Instead, Sam Horn teaches how to respond thoughtfully and constructively, rather than reacting or remaining silent in the face of conflict.
Sam Horn (photo left) provides a powerful form of self defense, where a person no longer must feel humiliated or helpless in the face of aggressive behavior. Instead of conflict and confrontation, Sam Horn creates a system that encourages cooperation and the prevention of conflict. Tongue Fu!® is more than self defense. It becomes a way of life for its practitioners. The ability to remain kind, while standing firm for one's own values, even while others are overly aggressive or inconsiderate, is a life changing aspect of the Tongue Fu!® principle. The book teaches the concepts and techniques that help a person stand on their own two feet, while defusing conflict, and encouraging mutually beneficial solutions.
For me, the power of the book is how Sam Horn develops and articulates an entirely new way of thinking about confrontation and interpersonal conflict. The empowering Tongue Fu!®, or verbal kung fu concept, provides people with a valuable defense tactic that combines mutual respect with cooperative problem resolution. Every page of the book is packed full of ideas that can be applied readily, and with a view to preventing or resolving conflict and deflecting aggressive and abusive behavior. Each chapter contains wonderful examples of "words to lose" and "words to use" to illustrate the techniques, and of the power of Tongue Fu!® in action. Sam Horn guides her readers through the life changing process from retaliation or silence to assertive conflict resolution, whether they involve individuals or larger groups of people.
I highly recommend the insightful and empowering book Tongue Fu! How to Deflect, Disarm, and Defuse Any Verbal Conflict by Sam Horn, to anyone who has experienced the embarrassment, pain, or frustration of verbal attack. With the wisdom of great thinkers of the past, distilled into the wonderful Tongue Fu!® techniques, Sam Horn has created a life changing personal communication system. Instead of feeling constant defeat and humiliation in the face of conflict, this book will provide the basis for solving problems in a cooperative and positive way.
Read the action oriented guide book Tongue Fu! How to Deflect, Disarm, and Defuse Any Verbal Conflict by Sam Horn, and put the techniques included in this now classic book to work for you. Whether the need is better communications with customers, defending against bullies, managing angry people, or building trust and cooperation with others, this is the book for you.
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